I miss home.

Song of The Day: You Make Me Brave by Amanda Cook & Bethel Music [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hi-VMxT6fc] 
***Since it is my 18th Birthday, I thought I would share an adorable picture of me!***
The fact that you are in college really hits hard when for the first time in your entire life you cannot spend your birthday with your family. Today is my eighteenth birthday, and truthfully, all I want to do is spend it with my family. Yes, it is super nice having phenomenal friends here at college who shower you with gifts and love, but nothing amounts to being in the presence of the ones who have spent this very special day with you since birth. It just feels weird to me. I have not been home since July, and the best I get it is a phone call or a Facetime date. Do not get me wrong, getting those calls are the best part of my day, but nothing amounts to the really thing. For the first time, I feel a little homesick. The other I was having a really shitty day, and whenever I feel bad or feel like whining (venting), I call my mom. I know that sounds pathetic, but it is how I deal. I called my mom, and I could sense something in her voice. I do not know what it was, but her voice was just screaming I wish you were here without saying the actual words. I was sitting outside of Pritchard on the phone talking, and all of a sudden, my eyes began to water. I tried to hold it in. I really did…until I talked to my little sister. She is my absolute favorite person, and just talking to her made me want to rush home immediately. I am torn between wanting to have the most amazing experience of my life and wanting to be with my family. I know this is totally natural, at least I hope it is. I know for sure that I am not the only person feeling this way. When I spoke to my mom and told her that I was trying not to stress myself out over my classes, she told me over and over that in the end, all of this will be worth it. I hoped she was right, and somehow, someway, I know she is. Whenever I feel like giving up, I think of my family. They are my motivation. I do not want to let them down, and most importantly, I do not want to let MYSELF down. I have worked way too hard to be where I am, and I am more than sure that I am not going to throw all of this away because I am homesick. I will persevere, and I will do what I need to do.
In life, all you need is a little bit of optimism, and I believe you will be perfectly fine.
--Summer Elease Lawrence

Leap.

Song of The Day: Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mp7qWfDANrU]
I am blessed. I am blessed beyond measure. I never knew that by going to Virginia Tech I would be so blessed. I do not know what I have done to deserve such a beautiful life, but whatever it is, I am so thankful I did it. I have never been so happy and felt so loved in my life. SO many amazing things have been happening in life, and I just cannot fit all of my emotions into this single post. When I try to describe my life at this single moment, I become speechless and just smile. I am happy. For the first time in my life, I am genuinely happy with my life, my friends, my school, and most importantly, myself. That, right there, is the single most amazing feeling in the world. Knowing that you are in a place for a reason is filling. I am full with happiness and love. I can say that in my eighteen years of living (as of 9/21), the greatest choice that I have made is going to Virginia Tech. I just love it here. I love it SO damn much that I just cannot stop saying it. Thinking back to the time that it was not even on my list of schools to apply to makes me scared. I cannot help but think what if. What if did not get wait listed at my first choice? What if I had never applied to Tech? Where would I be right now? What kind of life would I be living? Would my family be proud of me? Would I be this happy and blessed with amazing friends? Isn't it terrifying to think about the fact that if you did not make a certain decision, your life could be completely different? Although I think those questions constantly, I do not want to find out. I cannot imagine a life without being here at Virginia Tech. I know that by now I sound like a crazy fanatic, but God, I just cannot help it. Things are happening in life that I would have NEVER thought would happen. I have found friends that care about my well-being and that make me feel special and wanted. I know that I have friends at home that are like this, too, but I thought it was going to be particularly difficult for me to find that here. I have found my "group." I have found my group of friends that I can go to for anything, and I know that they will be there for me, supporting me all the way. I am also about to make a ton of more friends because I got a bid!
Yup, I said it. I got a freaking bid. I did not tell anyone that I was rushing a sorority because I did not want their negativity, not like it would make me change my decision anyway. A lot of people, when they found out, were like, "why didn't wait until the spring to rush?" I have my reasons. Trust me, I just do not do things on a whim. Whatever I do, I promise you that I have went over it numerous times in my head before I make a decision. The reason I rushed is because I wanted a different experience. Most people, when they talk about sororities, talk about them in such negative ways. I wanted to experience this for myself. I wanted to see how it was, and GDS was nothing like what people said sororities were like. The first day I went to the interest meeting, I knew this was for me. At the meeting, one of the sisters said something that made my decision to rush even easier. She said, when comparing non-PanHellenic sororities to PanHellenic sororities, that it was better to be a big part of something small than to be a very small, invisible piece to something huge. Those words made my decision. I did not want to join a huge sorority because I personally believe that in smaller groups, you become closer and make deeper connections, and that is what I want. I want to create friendships with these girls and have a memorable college experience. Yes, I probably could have had a fantastic college experience in a huge PanHellenic sorority and made a few good friends, but I fell in love with GDS instantly. Plus, I was not into ending my Christmas break early and paying money for formal recruitment. Rush week was not as intimidating as people made it out to be. The girls were SO nice and fun, and that is what I need in my life. I want to branch out, make new friends, and discover a whole entire different world than what I am used to. I wanted to take a chance, take a step out of my comfort zone and just do something different. I never expected to want to join a sorority. I always thought and was told that sorority girls are the definition of the "basic bitch." Well, I will be as basic as I want, because their opinions do not matter. As long as I am happy, I will continue to do what I do. My pledge class is great, too. The girls and I instantly clicked, and I really feel like we are going to be super close. People were right when they say that in college you will discover SO many things about yourself.
My advice for anyone out here in this world that is just coming into college would be to take a leap. I took a leap of faith, and in return, I was rewarded. I was rewarded with happiness, friends, and an amazing life. Take a chance. Do something out of your comfort zone and do not listen to what others have to say about it. If they want to talk, let them. Let them talk, because all their words can do is stop you, and if you let their irrelevant words stop you, then you need to rise up. Rise up and take charge of your life. Do what makes YOU happy. That is all that matters. If you are not happy, then everything you have will amount to nothing.
Be happy, smile, and never forget to be optimistic.
--Summer Elease Lawrence

I LOVE COLLEGE

Song of The Day: Body Love (Part 1&2) by Mary Lambert

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3f1zii5skA

[Ladies, listen to this. I'm weird, so the first time I listened to it, I cried just a little...ok, maybe a lot. Oh well. What can I say? I'm human, and I cry at almost anything. Listen to the lyrics and just think about them.]

I have been sitting at my computer for days trying to figure out where I should start. I wish I could sum up my first three weeks of college, but that would honestly take way too much time. I am still a little bit shocked that I am in college so fast. All of my friends back in Windsor are still at home for a good four weeks, and I am here in the lovely Blacksburg. Do not get me wrong, I LOVE it here. Not to brag or anything, but MY school is freaking amazing. Virginia Tech is absolutely perfect, and I am not just saying that because I go there ;). The sense of community is what I love the best. It is the single most spirited school I have ever heard of in my entire seventeen years of living. Ahhh...I could go on and on, but that is not the point.

Since I have been here, I have a grown independent. I actually do things on my own now, like laundry. Okay, so I did have to call my mom a few times to ask which water temperature I use when washing clothes, but other than that, I am feeling independent. It is lovely not having someone telling you what to do and how to do it every second of the day. No one is there to tell me to get out of the bed, to clean my room, or to eat dinner. I feel like I have the world in my hands right now. People were not lying when they said that these years are the best years of our lives. I am just having so much fun. Fun can include simply hanging out with your friends or walking to 7/11 at midnight. "Fun" does not always have to entail getting severely wasted. I have found the perfect group of friends already, and even though we have only known each other for a few weeks, I feel like I have known them for a long time. They know silly, embarrassing things about me that my friends back home who have known me for years know. I just feel like they get me. They understand that I like to have fun, that I am the clumsiest person they'll ever meet, and they know I'm a compassionate person. Is it weird that I feel closer to them than the people I have know all of my life? I also adore my roommate. I was apprehensive about meeting and rooming with Ami, but everything turned out well. We get along perfectly, and honestly, she and I are alike in so many ways.

This clean slate is just what I needed. Of course I miss home, but I do not miss the little bits of hell that accompany it. Blacksburg is my new home. I feel so comfortable and safe here. People say that home is where the heart is. Well, my heart is in Blacksburg, Virginia. It reminds me of Windsor in so many ways. The first time I visited VT, I saw a line of guys in camo and boots. Right then, I knew I was at home. Whenever I hear a country boy say "yee-yee," I am instantly reminded of Windsor High School.

Currently, I am taking two classes over the summer. One is 'Mind and Body Practices,' and it is....okay? We are learning M&B practices that are outside of the norm, and we also meditate and do yoga. My second class is 'Drug Education,' and I love it. It is absolutely fascinating. At the moment, these classes seem incredibly easy, but I just know that when the fall semester comes around, things will become harder. I have 8AM class every day of the week, and let me tell you, IT FREAKING SUCKS! NEVER, I mean NEVER, take an 8AM class if you have the option. I have never been so tired in my life. My first full weekend in Blacksburg, I slept until two in the afternoon. I never sleep that late, so obviously I was tired. I created my schedule for the fall, and my earliest class is at 11:15! I am very happy about that, btw. I am so excited about my schedule because I am taking a creative writing class. I cannot wait for this. I love writing, so hopefully it will be great. After my senior year, I said I would never take another online class again, well, I kind of jinxed myself. Apparently, all psych majors at VT are required to take an online class. BORING! But wait, it gets EVEN better. I have to take an ONLINE MATH CLASS. Yeah, I said an online math class. I hate math with a passion.

Virginia Tech's campus is so quiet during the summer, but I can honestly say that I am freaking excited for the fall. I finally know my way around this big campus. I don't get lost anymore like I did on my first week here. That was a disaster. I know how leave on time for my classes and get there on time. I have felt a shift in my life since I have been here. A good shift, of course. I think I am straying away from the person I was in high school, and I am maturing. I have experienced a whole new world and have meet people from all over the world, too. If someone asked me in high school if I wanted to spend over an hour in a spinning class, I would have said "hell to the freaking no," but now, it is totally different. My friends and I have been doing spinning classes and Zumba throughout the week, and I feel great. Not to brag on my school or anything, but Tech's athletic facilities are top notch.

The only way I can sum up how I feel about being here is by saying I simply love Virginia Tech. I do not think I will ever become tired of seeing the beautiful Hokie Stone every single day. It is breathtaking, and I love it. I am happy, I am content, and I am just living my life.

I am simply grateful.

--Summer Elease Lawrence

<div align="center"> <strong><em><font color="#ff0099">Song of The Day: Body Love (Part 1&2) by Mary Lambert</font></em></strong></div> <div align="center"> <strong><em><font color="#ff0099">[Ladies, listen to this. I'm weird, so the first time I listened to it, I cried just a little...<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" id=":z.55" tabindex="-1" role="menuitem" aria-haspopup="true" style="background: yellow;">ok</span>, maybe a lot. Oh well. What can I say? I'm human, and I cry at almost anything. Listen to the lyrics and just think about them.]</font></em></strong></div> <div> <<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" id=":z.61" tabindex="-1" role="menuitem" aria-haspopup="true" style="background: yellow;">br</span>></div> <div> I have been sitting at my computer for days trying to figure out where I should start. I wish I could sum up my first three weeks of college, but that would honestly take way too much time. I am still a little bit shocked that I am in college so fast. All of my friends back in Windsor are still at home for a good three weeks, and I am here in the lovely <span class="goog-spellcheck-word" id=":z.64" tabindex="-1" role="menuitem" aria-haspopup="true" style="background: yellow;">Blacksburg</span>. Do not get me wrong, I LOVE it here. Not to brag or anything, but MY school is freaking amazing. Virginia Tech is absolutely perfect, and I am not just saying that because I go</div> </div> </div>

Today. Is. Our. Day.

Song of The Day: Under The Lights by Cassio Monroe (Graduation Version)

It's been a long road, you guys. It has been a beautiful and not so beautiful thirteen years, but you know what? We made it! This is our day, the day that we have worked so hard towards all of our life. As we part and go our separate ways, remember to cherish every moment from our journey. Whether the memories are good or bad, they have shaped us somehow. They have led us to where we are today. Do not think of graduating as a way to get away from this tiny town or from the people that have drove us crazy over the years, think of it as something you can check off from a long list of things you want to accomplish in life. I am going to miss this, all of this: the hallways, the yearbook room, my favorite teachers, the horrible cafeteria food, and my friends. Someone told me that we are only friends with the people we are close to in high school because we see them seven hours for five days out of the week. I hope that is not true. That is the scariest part about graduating--not seeing your friends as much. I remember my blog posts from earlier in the school year. I was crying and stressed about finding out who my real friends are. Now that I have found them, I am afraid to let go. This year, I have become friends with people I said I hate because others said they weren't cool enough. I think that I have grown mentally and emotionally. I no longer care what people think of me because I am friends with a certain person. I am my own person, and I am smiling right now because I know that this is true. Tonight, as we walk across that stage at Windsor High School, I want you all to know this it has been an absolute pleasure being able to spend some of the best days of my life with all of you. Believe it or not, each and every one of you in the class of 2014 has said or done something that I will remember. Believe that. I know today will be full of tears of joy and laughter. I am just so proud of each and every one of us. This will be a night to remember. Now, today would not just be right if I didn't end this sappy post with one of my favorite quotations that I have been waiting to use for the past five years. It fits perfectly.

“Today’s the day my life begins. Today I become a citizen of the world. Today I become a grown up. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself and my parents. Accountable for more than my grades. Today, I become accountable to the world. To the future. To all the possibilities that life has to offer. Starting today, my job is to show up wide eyed and willing and ready. For what, I don’t know. For anything. For everything. To take on life. To take on love. To take on the responsibility and possibility. Today, my friends, our lives begin. And, I for one can’t wait.” -Grey's Anatomy

Congratulations To The Class of 2014 

Torn

Song of The Day: One by Ed Sheeran 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix9NXVIbm2A
I feel like I am on the edge of a precipice. I am at the point where if I am sitting alone and begin to drown myself in memories of friendships and school, I will come tumbling down. Yes, this is how I feel about school coming to an end.
One moment I am freaking ecstatic because I am graduating from high school in exactly twenty-five days. The next moment, I could be listening to Good Riddance by Green Day and I will feel the tears welling up in my eyes. For some odd reason, that song still makes me cry after all these years. I feel as if I am torn. I want to leave, but then I don't; I want to branch out and meet new friends, but I still want to keep my current ones. It is like I do not know what I want anymore. I have sat down many times over the past few weeks on my bed trying to rationalize things. I try to figure out what the hell is my problem. Back in September, I remember being so joyous and ready to be finished with high school, but now, I am sort of rethinking my situation. Don't get me wrong, I am most definitely going to miss the dear WHS, but it's been a long four years. I wish I had the right words to sum up how I feel about graduating, but honestly, I don't. Just this morning I was sitting in my first block class, and I was thinking, thinking myself to tears. I was thinking about senior night live, senior teach day, and the rest of the senior activities. Right then it occurred to me. It is totally fine to cry about graduating. The tears that I cry, they are tears of joy in disguise. I just feel like there is a flood of emotions inside of me just waiting for the dam to break.
I was recently talking to my school librarian, and she said that all of this does not become completely clear to you until you are laying in bed in your empty room the night before you leave for college. Just thinking about it now makes me want to cry. I wanted to tell her that I feel that now. I feel like now it is becoming so clear to me that it is almost over and a new chapter is about to begin. I am just torn between opening that new book and staying in the old one until I am ready to move on. We all say that we are ready to graduate, we are ready to get out into our own, and we are ready to reach new heights, but in reality, we are all scared. I know that I am and I have no issue acknowledging it. I am 100% terrified of the new life I am about to begin soon. I know that I am going to have to adjust to new things, but it is all a part of the process. It is a part of the process called growing up. I keep telling myself that I am so damn happy about graduating that I cannot stop crying. Inside of my tears are traces of happiness, accomplishment, and vacillation. The tears of happiness come from deep within me because I am happy that I am graduating. How could one not be happy about graduating from high school? The tears of accomplishment come directly from my heart because I am just so proud of myself. If I looked into my future during my junior year, I never would have believed the direction that my life is going in now. The feeling of accomplishment feels so lovely because I am just one step closer to my future. And then there are the tears of vacillation. The sensation of being torn between wanting to stay and wanting to go is so scary. Not knowing what can and will happen next is unnerving. There was a time when I would have called myself stupid for saying that I am scared to leave high school. These past four years have been the epitome of heaven and hell on Earth. Some moments have been better than others, but I don't think I would ever trade it. What we go through and experience shape us more than anything. Eventually, everything will play out. Until it does, I will be counting down the days until I graduate and contemplating how I should feel about all of this!

-Summer L.

I Can’t Stop

Song of The Day: That’s What’s Up by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sj0Ha7Xkw7Y&feature=kp]. This is totally different from what I usually listen to, but I fell in love with the song when I first heard a cover of it by Lennon and Maisy [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-Mr2pmuad4].

 I find it absolutely mesmerizing how things end up. I find it crazy and unbelievable how something that has been so clear to you for a really long time immediately goes away and another door or opportunity comes knocking the next minute.
Yesterday I had the one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I toured the place that I will call home for the next four years. People obviously were not lying when they said that I would fall in love with the campus. It is beautiful, historical, and just so much to take in. As soon as my parents and I rode onto the campus, I immediately felt it in my bones that I was at home. I felt that after I saw a long line of guys in camo and boots. In that single moment, I was reminded of Windsor immediately. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would be going to freaking Virginia Tech. I know that I have been rambling for days about how thrilled I am and how beautiful the campus is, and I am more than sure that my Facebook friends and family are sick of hearing about it already but I cannot stop. There is so much excitement in my life right now that I cannot do anything but talk about it. I am overwhelmed, and that barely describes my feelings about all of this. I thank God constantly for where I am in life right now because I obviously would not be here if it were not for Him, but also because I applied to Tech. At first, I only applied to VT to see if I would get in. I honestly did not believe I would get in. My mind was SO made up on George Mason. I had made plans for GMU and had mapped everything out. After touring Virginia Tech yesterday, I just had this feeling. I think that somehow and someway I was meant to go to here. I know that may seem crazy, but I believe this is true. We go through craziness and trials in our lives to lead us to where we need to be. Maybe George Mason was not where I needed to be. It is like that cliché saying, “When one door closes, another one opens.” I am happy and proud of the direction my life is heading. I cannot even put in words how delighted I am to be graduating soon and going to college. It is a completely new chapter of my life, a new beginning. I have the opportunity to reinvent myself and have a clean slate. I think this is going to be great for me. I was recently notified that I was accepted to the Virginia Tech Summer Academy, so I will be leaving for school in July, which is even scarier. After graduation, I will have like three weeks at home and then I leave for college. The summer academy supposed to be a transitioning thing to help upcoming freshmen make that jump from being in high school to being in college and independent. That is absolutely exciting because there are so many awesome things that go along with going to VTSA like moving into your dorm before your roommate and going to Hokie Camp. Every time I realize that I was one of the 5,400 students accepted to Virginia Tech out of the 20,000 who applied, I think, “holy shit! I did that!” I have made another accomplishment in my life. I have reached a goal because of MY hard work and MY determination, along with the help of my amazing support team. Life is beautiful and full of excitement at the moment. I am just trying my best to continue being optimistic because it feels as if when things are going TOO good, something negative and unwanted to bound to happen. Right now, in this single moment, I just cannot stop smiling.
-Summer L.

Tech, Here I Come!

Song of The Week: Beating Heart by Ellie Goulding: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrNTOo4KH8c

I feel like I haven't blogged in ages! Well, I haven't done it since December, but I am so happy to be able to find time to do it again. I have so much to share and be happy about. These past few months have flown by incredibly fast. It feels as if life is just shooting right by and I can barely hold on to it. I would like to share the most amazing and best news that I have received this month. This is how it happened/I found out. 

So from the 21st to the 23rd, my school's Beta Club went to the State Convention to compete in some competitions and to represent our lovely school. We were at our second session, and I hate to admit this, but I was on Facebook the majority of the time. It wasn't that it was boring, I was just interested to know what was going on back at home. I saw one of my close friends post that she was accepted to Virginia Tech. Right then and there, my nerves shot up! I immediately went to the VT admissions page, and there was a little headline saying that freshman application decisions will be posted on March 21, 2014 after 5 p.m. I was so nervous and excited all at once. I tapped my friend on the shoulder to notify her because she applied to Tech as well. When I told her, we both began trying to log onto the server. Of course, the website was not working. I found out around quarter to six that the decisions were being posted, and even then the website was already down due to the traffic. When the website finally began to load, I became even more nervous. I entered my information, and the website began loading. I was absolutely terrified because I was afraid of the outcome. I needed to get into this school. The website once again notified me that I should come back later. Fast forwarding to 10 p.m., the girls and I went downstairs to the lobby before we headed up to the Beta mixer. My friend wanted to use the hotel's computer to see if the website would be back up. She said, "Summer, you can use this computer to check yours." All sorts of emotions were running through my mind because if I did not get in, I wouldn't want them to know. I responded by making up some pathetic lie about not wanting to check it because I would rather do it after the Beta Convention is over. There was some truth to that because if I did not get it, I wouldn't have wanted it to ruin my whole trip. While my friend was checking her status, I heard her squeal. It was not just a little squeal, it was full on! She was excited and happy that she got in, and I was for her. While she was freaking out and reading the information, little did she and the other girls know that I was checking my application status on my phone. I didn't want them to know. The page was finally beginning to load. Emotions were flowing through me and my stomach began to hurt. I was trembling a little bit, but I was also trying to conceal the fact that I was BEYOND nervous. All of a sudden, the page decides to load! I let out the biggest scream in the whole wide world. The other girl from another school that was in the computer lounge probably thought I was insane. I GOT IN! I screamed, I jumped, and I cried. Yes, I cried and I am not ashamed of it. I wasn't like sobbing, but more of a happy cry. The girls congratulated me, and the first thing I did was call my mom. I was on the phone, and the fact that it was close to eleven was completely oblivious to me. My mom answered the phone sounding halfway knocked out, and I began telling her my fantastic news. She was so happy for me, and I was beyond ecstatic. I rushed back up stairs to tell my sponsors that I got in and they congratulated me. I just wanted to tell everyone. I was proud of myself because I accomplished something that I didn't think I would. Part of the reason I cried is because I honestly didn't think I would get in. I truthfully didn't. I achieved something I did not think I could, and that makes me so happy. Although Tech wasn't my first choice, it is now! That is where I will be in the fall. After some serious rationalization, sorting out of pros and cons, and venting to friends and teachers, I made my final decision. I think this will  be the greatest decision I have ever made in my seventeen years of living. Now that I am sure of where I will be in the fall, I have began planning. I am excited for college and what it has to bring. I can't wait to meet new people and find an awesome roommate. I know it will be extremely difficult at first and hard to readjust, but I don't think it's nothing I cannot handle.

I just felt the need to share something awesome that has happened lately. Things are going absolutely great for me right now, and I pray to God that it continues to stay this way. Prom is in 26 days and graduation is in 74. My senior year is so close to being over. It is scary but fulfilling. I just cannot wait to walk across that stage at WHS and finally accomplish my biggest goal. I hope that all is well with everyone who reads my blog. I just feel right blogging because I can type out the words that are kept inside. It is a beautiful feeling.

Have a lovely week,

-Summer L.