Song of The Day: Holy Spirit by Francesca Battistelli
Because of summer break and everything that has been going
on in my life lately, I have had a lot of time to think. Maybe too much time. I
constantly find myself lingering over the question of “what am I doing with my
life.” I find myself creating images in my mind of what my life could be like,
what I could be like. I came to the conclusion that we sometimes spend
so much time making promises to others and do not spend enough time making
promises to ourselves. I am a total believer of making friends and family a
major priority, but when you begin to constantly do so much for others and so little
for yourself, you create a problem. I know for fact that I worry a lot about
others and sometimes put their burdens on myself. Let me tell you that it is
not healthy. It becomes stressful and completely draining. I have begun to lose
sight of what I need in my life and what I need to do in order to ensure that I
am going to be okay. That is why I am going to make some promises to myself and
set some realistic goals. In order to carry out those goals and make those
promises to myself, I know that I need to become aware of myself and figure out
what I am doing.
I procrastinate a great deal. I never verbalize these
thoughts, but I think them constantly. I always tell myself that I am going to make
a positive change that I will benefit from immensely, but I never do it. I
never realized until now that I’m not "practicing what I preach." I spend so much
time telling those around me to keep true to yourself and to never let the
words of others or worries of the world stop you from reaching the heights you
want to reach. I tell myself this from time to time, but I am not acting on it.
It makes me wonder what kind of person I am if I don’t do as I say. I can’t
blame the world for my wrongs because that is stupid, but I can definitely blame
myself. You tend to hear a lot of people say, “don’t blame yourself” and “it’s
not your fault you’re in this position.” Sometimes it’s not your fault because
certain things are out of your control, but sometimes it is your fault. You are
in some positions because you have allowed yourself to be in these positions.
It’s good to realize your faults and take the blame for your actions because it
helps you move forward.
I want to make some changes because I have so much to live
for. When you realize that you have so much to live for, it makes you want to
do better. It makes you want to make positive changes in your life. I have a
little sister that needs me. She needs a big sister to look up to and someone
to show her that it is possible to make something great out of yourself. I have
a family to make proud. I’m going to be an aunt and a role model to a beautiful
little girl that needs to know that she can defy the odds. If that isn’t enough
to make a person want to do better, then I don’t know what is. I don’t want to
be that girl who looks back at her life and realizes that she could have
prevented so much by making progressive changes.
It is completely normal to say we are going to do things and
never do them. We’re human and it happens, but when you keep saying something
for years and years and never act on it, I think it begins to say something
about your character. It makes you feel like a hesitator. People say they are
waiting for the right time, but that time is now. I am a part of that group of
people and I am not ashamed to admit it. If one thing has become evident to me,
it is that things happen too fast. You could be perfectly fine one second and
gone the next. All we have is this time, and it is a gift.
Make some promises
to yourself. Promise that you are going to do something good.
Promise that you are going to stop hesitating. Promise that you will stop
living in the past and move on to the future. Staying in the past takes away
from the now. Most of all, promise that you will live vibrantly. Everything that
you do, do it with a purpose. If you are going through the motions of life and
doing things that have no purpose, are you even living? Have a smile on your
face and know that everything has an ending point. If you are struggling with
something, know that it has to stop eventually.
Once you realize the issues in your life and understand that
they need to be dealt with, you can begin to move forward. Believe and make
these promises to yourself. Set those goals that you know will make you happy. Make changes that are
meaningful to you and see where life takes you.
