Pinky Promise

Song of The Day: Holy Spirit by Francesca Battistelli

Because of summer break and everything that has been going on in my life lately, I have had a lot of time to think. Maybe too much time. I constantly find myself lingering over the question of “what am I doing with my life.” I find myself creating images in my mind of what my life could be like, what I could be like. I came to the conclusion that we sometimes spend so much time making promises to others and do not spend enough time making promises to ourselves. I am a total believer of making friends and family a major priority, but when you begin to constantly do so much for others and so little for yourself, you create a problem. I know for fact that I worry a lot about others and sometimes put their burdens on myself. Let me tell you that it is not healthy. It becomes stressful and completely draining. I have begun to lose sight of what I need in my life and what I need to do in order to ensure that I am going to be okay. That is why I am going to make some promises to myself and set some realistic goals. In order to carry out those goals and make those promises to myself, I know that I need to become aware of myself and figure out what I am doing.

I procrastinate a great deal. I never verbalize these thoughts, but I think them constantly. I always tell myself that I am going to make a positive change that I will benefit from immensely, but I never do it. I never realized until now that I’m not "practicing what I preach." I spend so much time telling those around me to keep true to yourself and to never let the words of others or worries of the world stop you from reaching the heights you want to reach. I tell myself this from time to time, but I am not acting on it. It makes me wonder what kind of person I am if I don’t do as I say. I can’t blame the world for my wrongs because that is stupid, but I can definitely blame myself. You tend to hear a lot of people say, “don’t blame yourself” and “it’s not your fault you’re in this position.” Sometimes it’s not your fault because certain things are out of your control, but sometimes it is your fault. You are in some positions because you have allowed yourself to be in these positions. It’s good to realize your faults and take the blame for your actions because it helps you move forward.

I want to make some changes because I have so much to live for. When you realize that you have so much to live for, it makes you want to do better. It makes you want to make positive changes in your life. I have a little sister that needs me. She needs a big sister to look up to and someone to show her that it is possible to make something great out of yourself. I have a family to make proud. I’m going to be an aunt and a role model to a beautiful little girl that needs to know that she can defy the odds. If that isn’t enough to make a person want to do better, then I don’t know what is. I don’t want to be that girl who looks back at her life and realizes that she could have prevented so much by making progressive changes.

It is completely normal to say we are going to do things and never do them. We’re human and it happens, but when you keep saying something for years and years and never act on it, I think it begins to say something about your character. It makes you feel like a hesitator. People say they are waiting for the right time, but that time is now. I am a part of that group of people and I am not ashamed to admit it. If one thing has become evident to me, it is that things happen too fast. You could be perfectly fine one second and gone the next. All we have is this time, and it is a gift. 

Make some promises to yourself. Promise that you are going to do something good. Promise that you are going to stop hesitating. Promise that you will stop living in the past and move on to the future. Staying in the past takes away from the now. Most of all, promise that you will live vibrantly. Everything that you do, do it with a purpose. If you are going through the motions of life and doing things that have no purpose, are you even living? Have a smile on your face and know that everything has an ending point. If you are struggling with something, know that it has to stop eventually.

Once you realize the issues in your life and understand that they need to be dealt with, you can begin to move forward. Believe and make these promises to yourself. Set those goals that you know will make you happy. Make changes that are meaningful to you and see where life takes you.