Let me just note that today was the absolute worst day of all of the days I have been in high school. I usually have great days. I'm always super optimistic from the beginning of school until I leave. Today was different, much different. It seems like most of my problems from school end up having to do with my friends, well, acquaintances.
Most of the people I am close friends with, I have known them since at least elementary school. When you are friends with a person for that long, things should feel as if they are progressing in a positive way. Well, things feel like they are declining. High school really does change people. Some people are changed for the better, and then you have those who don't. I used to have the hardest time making friends, but this year I have made SO many, and I think that is where the problem is. People are right when they say keep your circle small. I have never had this many people that I am "cool" with, and that makes me so proud. Believe it or not, I used to be extremely quiet and shy. People literally had to make me speak. If you did not talk to me, I did not talk to you. I changed for the better (I like to believe).
Being around new people, you want them to like you, laugh at your jokes, and just appreciate you. To be apart of a group in high school, you will do about anything to fit in. The people you hang out with have a strong effect on you. I know from personal experience, especially this year. The people you believe are your friends are the ones who will have you laughing so much one day and crying in the school bathroom the next.
From my experiences this year, I have learned that the only friend you can depend on to be honest with you is yourself, for the most part. Depend only on yourself, or you will most likely end up like me- wondering why the people you call your friends hurt you so badly.
Friendships are complicated, especially if there is trouble when the relationship is new and fragile. I have also learned not to expect much from others. You cannot make people like you. Even if you go to extreme lengths to make them laugh or do anything to make them feel included, there's a chance they will not like you. It hurts when you will do anything to please that one friend, but as soon as she hears something that was ASSUMED from a person she has known for a very small time, she will flee and judge you. It happens.
I think when you are friends for a really long time with someone, you can feel when the friendship is slowly fading away. There will be many moments when you two cannot come to similar terms. There will be times when you cannot fix something that was broken a long time ago. After that, one day you two will look at each other and that's it. All you will have is the memories from a friendship that you thought would never end.
My goal is just not to stress the little things. Friendships come and go, but you just have to learn to get over it. Stay optimistic. Being happy is good for the body. There are way too many reasons not to be happy. If you are alive and breathing, that's enough to be happy about right there.
Positivity is the key.
-Summer :)
